Thursday, May 27, 2010

i just read some of my old entries
gosh i dont understand my own brain sometimes
which is a trite and cliched sentiment but no less sincere for being recycled

i feel a bit lost lately and quite co dependent
everything seems external and that which normally makes me calmer has been boring me lately
i have so much to do and so little time

and the things i want may or may not exist.
i want one of those machines from hitch hickers guide to the galexy that tells you what you want then makes it for you


Sunday, May 16, 2010

i hear you!
in my bones and
metaphoricly blue hair

i have been so annoyed lately. at people and their inability to change or tendency to never stay thesame.
i feel like i am a passing amusement amongst my friends and peers! like words come out of my mouth
that are nothing more then the verbalisation of
a sincere thought
(the kind in which i find no adherent amusing qualaties)
only to cause laughter. i feel like people think i am so amusing
that they never listen to my content
just the words that are arranged in such a way
to amuse them
im not here to be so sweetly mirth inducing
im trying to say something and no one really listens

and i am trying to remember that people from the better side of the train tracks (the side with grass not -contrastingly- broken glass) will never understand some things
they may comprehend.
but they will never understand.
and that annoys me so much, places a seed of doubt within my heart
like why should i and mine be considered so strange
when we have a more common denominator then others.

there is no sincerity in being bound together by things like books and music. there is only vanity, like "hey i like you because you like the same feeble things as me, and im deffinatly the most awesome for liking those things in the first place"

you know?

this has manifested at parties recently. overhearing a conversation or whispered words
like "i love " and "oh you love too? how cool"
and the urge to raise a point
on topics that i would have once considered myself so well versed in
is nonexistant! a smile to myself, and i keep the music trivia in my brain, keep quiet and remember that there is more to life then that

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

i do watch my fair share of tv shows, and have been a bit befuddled when it comes to this show. on the one hand i kinda thought it was just another tv studio hoping to cash into the whole "geek boys are the cutest" trend that has been floating about lately, but something about it has worn me down after time. i just completed season two and must confess i am besotted.
the main characters strugle with feeling ordinary and being forced to be extraordinary is so interesting, i feel like its something we must all feel somedays. when we feel we have no potential! when we are just crawling instead of running
i think its a lovely theme
and it is deffinatly giving me something to think about in terms of my own script writting

EDIT: i just happened upon a recording of a song featuring zachary levi, who plays chuck and gosh he has a super lovely voice!