2009 in review

i know it is not quite new years yet, but i think perhaps i am more inclinated for such things at the moment then i will be later. thus the usual year-gone-by-meme. oh how i have missed you pointless questions.

1. Was 2009 a good year for you? Why?
in ways yes. i learned a bit more perhaps, made some lovely new friends and started persuing some study which is good always.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
quiet moments. spending time with people who are not a bore or efortsome. things like just sitting and speaking, having coffees with gel in the morning before tafe.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
an instance of forcefulness, inapropriate behaviour, like things better left forgoten

4. Where were you when 2009 began?
playing guitar hero at home by myself. yeah.

5. Who were you with?
me and my xbox

6. Where will you be when 2009 ends?
at a friends house party, tipsy eyed and mystified. perhaps

7. Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
friends that are not from school. a distinct distincition between the two groups. peolpe i have met out and about, have used my charms upon and whom have charmed me in turn

8. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions of 2009?
i think it was to be braver, and i was indeed a slight bit braver this year. i am still lil cowardly, but things like that can be hard, no? at least conscience doesnt make a coward of me,thats for sure

9. Do you have New Year's Resolution(s) for 2010?
take more photographs, paint more paintings. goto the art gallery and be inspired! dont sit at home all day watching dvds, perhaps get better sleeping patterns.

pet a kitten.

10. Did you fall in love in 2009?
i am a silly fickle sort of lady. i think i fall in love far to much for common sense. i felt strong emotions for a few

11. If yes, with who?
a fox

12. If yes, do they know?
deep down, i think so

13. Are you still in love with them?
to an extent?

14. You regret it?
i regret most emotions of the sort. being happy with oneself is so much easier and safer

15. Did you break up with anyone in 2009?
no

16. Did you make any new friends in 2009?
yes! i tried really hard with some friends of friends, the sort of people who are sweet and always bright.

17. Who are your favorite new friends?
some friends from tafe, pat, sammy

18. What was your favorite month of 2009?
i have no concept of time, and its relation to space

19. Did you travel outside of your country of residence in 2009?
i never have done so, i have high hopes however

20. How many different states / provinces did you travel to in 2009?
none?

21. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
in a way. noone who wasnt worth loosing.

23. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009?
star trek, zombieland, i love you man

24. What was your favorite song from 2009?
yeah yeah yeahs - hysteric
kate walsh - your song
phoenix - 1901

25. What was your favorite record from 2009?
its blitz!, brand new eyes

26. How many concerts did you see in 2009?
oh man i dont even know. not that many

27. Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
neil young

28. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
less then the previous year

29. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
yes.

30. How many people did you sleep with in 2009?
.

31. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
a number of things. i have an acute sense of guilt, sometimes for things that re not even bad

33. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
i dont really recall. people who dont admit to lying when they have been caught out are a big hate of mine, but nothing of the sort comes to mind

34. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
yes. mostly through being too shy to leave the house and neglecting friends

35. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
yes.

36. How much money did you spend in 2009?
i have no idea, how edsactly am i expected to calculate that?

37. What was your proudest moment of 2009?
seeing my art in frankie, by the kindness of my lovely friend mel stringer.

38. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
sharing thoughts that should not be shared. sometimes my brain to mouth filter is non-existant, and it sadens me to shock others

39. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
probably go back in time and not become friends with one or two people, to avoid all that came after

40. What are your plans for 2010?
continue tafe, start building port folios, improve my hug technique

christmas

i dont really enjoy cristmas. i find it to be a supreme anti-climax, more expectation then anything. and as a rule i find expectations to be mostly dissapointing. having said that i got myself the following and i feel like the day might not be so dissapointing, cause hey, at least i know what im like.

something about girls with bright orange red hair fascinates me!

i have not posted for a while, i hope it has not bean lamentable or even noticable for those who read these words.
i have been staying in as per usual, learning slowly, drawing rarely.

christmas is such an ordinary thing.

an old gig photo
i miss going to gigs
and trying so hard at taking photos
it is mostly very diffifult

if mymemory is corr3ect this is shiver like timbers
at the gig where she supported patrick wolf
she is very lovely

is it so selfish to think perhaps
you are capable of making someone more happy
then the person their thoughts are already preoccupied with?
perhaps it is concieted

i wish i was not so callow and cowardly.
more capable of honesty
of taking that hart by the horns
andwhipering so soft and sweet
how i adore him so
and how i hope for nothing more then his infinit happyness

some people are just too brilliant
the kind to make a girl sigh and sorrow
to make her wish to strongly
that things might perhaps be different

i just cant see why
someone would abandon another
to hold a hand so wet and wilted as mine

i have decided
i am no longer going to write letters
to those who do not care enough
to reply.

i always say it
and i never do it

i adore this photo
i am quite upset at bloggers tendency to pixilate my life. perhaps i will find a way to fix it.

i should not write any more words
least my flower organs over flow
with dusted sticky sap and sallow leaf and petal

“You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!”

i found these on some top 25 type website
new style covers for a bunch of movies
these 3 were my favourites

i want to be able to create art like this
so amazing structually!

music post - owl city

i have bean listening to owl city alot!

fireflies

written from insomnia apparently
and i have felt that ache in my bones aswell

im sorry,
i would have liked to have linked to the whole album
but i am having trouble today

PUNCH

finally making art again
reaching deep on down, pulling back these bones and bloods and bringing up something soft and sticky sweet.
the forest!
oh
how i have missed you

more specifficly, this is a band poster done upon the request of a good friend
the actual bands playing and very brutal, it is worth mentioning
and nowhere near as pansy as my weak willed art would imply.

when it rains
we shut the windows tight
and sit so soft and silently

i am sorry if there is anyone out there reading this
who wishes to view things
that are sythesised from my brain pan
art wise.

i have bean very uninspired lately
or perhaps just lazy.
i find evrything so amazing sometimes that i feel like
there is no need for me to be amazing
when there are others out there already doing it
you know?

i will probably just be doing alot of picture posts
because i am really enjoying the internet lately.

and i am finally learning
that i am a tree and i "got a saw to cut off those dead limbs"

letting people go.

these are things i find posativly amazing

omlette du fromage

OMLET DU FROMAGE!!!

you know how when your a kid for some reason or other
particular memories just stick with you
the eipsode of dexters labritory where he accidently falls asleep listening to a 'learn to speak french' tape and it gets caught on the phrase "omlette du fromage"
and then the next day thats all he can say

is one of those memories for me.

to this day it is still one of the few french phrases i know
and the most french phrase i ever spoke in french class

lomo self

lomohomo
i try not to indulge in the whole self obsessed culture and masturbation
that i think is inextricably intertwined with the whole myspace facebook photo thing.
but i felt desperatly like taking some photos this evening
and my world is so cramped at the moment
i feel like all that is in these bits and bones
is the only thing i can muster right now.

i quite like the first shot. eating fire spitting flames!

firefly

Kaylee: Everyones got somebody. Wash, tell me im pretty
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion
Kaylee: 'cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause you're pretty.

i love firefly so much. it is one of the few shows i can watch again and again and again. sometimes my brain gets all explody forom how perfectly constructed a film serenity is also.

i promise to post something other then screencaps from shows soon.

fan boys

i have never really encountered the fabled 'fan boy'. many a fan girl yes, but never a fanboy. i just dont really think dudes get obsessed about things as us ladies do sometimes. also it is possible
i am just not running in the right circles.

kevin smith is a totally rad dude.

time machine

"oh no!!! not fleshing eating morlocks!!!"

letting things go

my dog ruby died a couple of weeks ago
i think it bothered me more then i thought it would
animals are so much more lovely then people i find
so sincere and full of love!
i do not think i believe in heaven
but i think perhaps i would like to, so i may sleep knowing she is somewhere special

do i have something in my teeth?

this man is just far too brilliant.
i want nothing more
then to curl up with some green tea
and watch ace ventura
again and again.

pictures like this
make me so unhappy.

bright eyes

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

i used to listen to this abum everyday on the bus to and from school. Lua (one of the tracks) is probably one of the lovelyest songs ive ever heard. conor oberst has
such a way with words

some lyrics:

I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight...

self portraits

and old self portrait i took. amazing to think how much effort i put into things back then. with a shitty digital camera. i was so into the colour that red lamp made, i could spend hours taking photos with that thing.
i think peoples sense of what is a good self portrait can really tell alot about taht person. excluding the obvious.

i feel like everything and nothing has changed!

to think about the circumstances that surrounded my taking of this picture. my first experience, of being in love or lust with more then one person. i am so glad
i have grown up.

わたしは、あなたを愛しています

私はあなたに値しないことを知ってより良いそれからわたしを
しかし、私はまだ傾けるヘルプを絶賛していたあなた
彼女〜するべきであるを伝える
あなたはパーフェクト
日常

never mind.

above picture by helani laisk, sleepyfeet on deviantart