paper toes

a blog! what a novel idea.

i have a livejounral, but somehow a blog seems more accessable and less teenage. a place for a big girl to write (heh)

im not in the habit of occupying myself a whole lot lately, so please be patient with me. i have become accustomed to a more leisurly pace then most. its probably not the best when the most difficult part of your day is trying to decide what to put on the sandwhich you will enivetably be eating at some point. having said that, its pretty fucking cush and im not about to start complaining. its better then uni or a job (or at least i am told by those who partake in such things)

i had a wierd moment today when i suddenly felt completly dissconected from someone who i have a deep respect for, and i realised that they were ignoring me for no reason other then it suited them. its wierd to feel anger towards someone you look up to for the first time. to realise they are capable of being selfish jerks just like everyone else. time to take you off the pedistool so-and-so!

i guess ive gotten a lil clingy and clutchy in my homebased issolation. i assume that everyone has as much time as me on their hands, which is obviously not true. but it gets to a point where so many sent messages and emails are hard to ignore and i realised that this person would have to activly be ignoring me.

it may seem trite, but it is times like this that im thankful for the ability to create and contribute and synthesise and all that silly buisness they kept making us do at school. its easier to forgive people when youre capable of drawing or painting something to get those sticky feelings out. feels alot better!

thats my first blog! its a bit spiderwebby all over the place, but oh wells