forests always there

2010-07-18T01:12:00.000-07:00

C> C> C> C>

2010-05-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

i just read some of my old entries
gosh i dont understand my own brain sometimes
which is a trite and cliched sentiment but no less sincere for being recycled

i feel a bit lost lately and quite co dependent
everything seems external and that which normally makes me calmer has been boring me lately
i have so much to do and so little time

and the things i want may or may not exist.
i want one of those machines from hitch hickers guide to the galexy that tells you what you want then makes it for you

THOUGH YOU SAY YOUR MY FRIEND
IM AT MY WITS END

2010-05-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

i hear you!
in my bones and
metaphoricly blue hair

i have been so annoyed lately. at people and their inability to change or tendency to never stay thesame.
i feel like i am a passing amusement amongst my friends and peers! like words come out of my mouth
that are nothing more then the verbalisation of
a sincere thought
(the kind in which i find no adherent amusing qualaties)
only to cause laughter. i feel like people think i am so amusing
that they never listen to my content
just the words that are arranged in such a way
to amuse them
hey!
im not here to be so sweetly mirth inducing
im trying to say something and no one really listens

and i am trying to remember that people from the better side of the train tracks (the side with grass not -contrastingly- broken glass) will never understand some things
they may comprehend.
but they will never understand.
and that annoys me so much, places a seed of doubt within my heart
like why should i and mine be considered so strange
when we have a more common denominator then others.

there is no sincerity in being bound together by things like books and music. there is only vanity, like "hey i like you because you like the same feeble things as me, and im deffinatly the most awesome for liking those things in the first place"

you know?

this has manifested at parties recently. overhearing a conversation or whispered words
like "i love " and "oh you love too? how cool"
and the urge to raise a point
on topics that i would have once considered myself so well versed in
is nonexistant! a smile to myself, and i keep the music trivia in my brain, keep quiet and remember that there is more to life then that

2010-05-04T01:55:00.000-07:00

chuck!
i do watch my fair share of tv shows, and have been a bit befuddled when it comes to this show. on the one hand i kinda thought it was just another tv studio hoping to cash into the whole "geek boys are the cutest" trend that has been floating about lately, but something about it has worn me down after time. i just completed season two and must confess i am besotted.
the main characters strugle with feeling ordinary and being forced to be extraordinary is so interesting, i feel like its something we must all feel somedays. when we feel we have no potential! when we are just crawling instead of running
i think its a lovely theme
and it is deffinatly giving me something to think about in terms of my own script writting

EDIT: i just happened upon a recording of a song featuring zachary levi, who plays chuck and gosh he has a super lovely voice!

2010-04-29T04:25:00.001-07:00

hey! lets all download some tank girl.

i shaved some of my head yesterday and i am feeling very keen on such things
also it is very good for refrence, as far as comics go!

assignment hey, you guys dont need to read this. meerly for school purposes

2010-04-26T04:02:00.000-07:00

one artist who applys post modern thought process and questions to a prominant social issue is gordon bennet. Bennet is of Anglo-Celtic and Aboriginal ancestry, only discovering his aboriginal ancestry at the relativly old age of 11. Bennet utilises this multicultural herritage and sense of alienation to adress issues pertaining to race, and the public perception of the aboriginal people by a socioty largely constituted of white people.

a prime example of Bennets ability to convey complex cultural issues through visual stimulai is his painting But i always wanted to be one of the good guys.
the work alludes to bennets attempts to reconcile both his black and whit eherritage both personally, and on a more grand social scale, self referencially portraying the artist as a young boy dressed in what is commonly percieved as a decidely white role; that of a cowboy. in direct opposition to this image are the reconisably contrasting images of the red skinned native americans, more colloquially known as indians. commonly percieved as being feudal forces, bennet makes the distiction between white and right, black and bad through these childhood images, placing the cowboys within a role of assumative superiority to that of the indians. As cultural paralleles can be drawn bewteen the collonisation of america and australia, the inclusion of indians as apposed to aboriginals remains relevant as both races experienced years of misfortune and masacre at the hands of their respective white settlers.

In addition, the portrayal of bennets cultural crisis as that of cowboys and indians, acts to deconstructe the larger more complex issue of this cultural feud to something more understandable and paletable to the paintings focal point, a child. By translating this issue to the more recognisably juvenile and simplistic cowboys and indians, bennet in turn translates what it must have felt like for him as a child of 11 to be confronted with a wholy foreign and percievably negative cultural identity. bennet has captured this child like perspective through the raw and basic figures of both the white cowboys and red indians, the way in which they are painted seeming both primal and childlike. Also the title effortlessly conveys the childlike sense of 'good' and 'bad', and how the distinction between the two is clear and concise as a child, as influenced by parental figures. it is the inclusion of this childhood perspective that makes this painting both poinant and compelling.

2010-04-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

a small update!
i have been doing alot of tafe work lately, or at least attending tafe which takes up so much time. i will hopefuly have some nice things to share with everyone, but i would like to wait until i have it all done to update. i have some life drawings (which i think are interesting to look at in regards to technical drawing as apposed to personal preferance), sculpture, painting, screen printing AND printmaking. i will admit however that i still have some catching up to do. now that the website i read batman on is BROKEN (and thusly my heart along with it) im sure i will be gettng alot more work done.

i have been so inspired by others art lately, i feel like i am being pushed to be better by everyone around me! its so nice to have friends who inspire such things deep from within your lazy bones.

i cant stop playing bejewlled, i stayed up till like, 2 am the other night playing it. is there some sort of support group i can goto? surely someone out there has felt the bitter sting of bejewlled addiction the same as i?

my friend pat is always asking me who i would dress up as at some sort of pop culture convention if i was thus inclinced. my answer varies alot, sometimes i say tank girl or raven or characters from anime, but i think deep down i would really choose batgirl if i could pull it off. depending on which batgirl it was that i wanted to be. i would probably choose cassandra cain because she is fucking badass

-by james jean

2010-04-12T04:48:00.000-07:00

2010-04-11T04:02:00.000-07:00

supernova!

fuck i feel so full to the brimm of inspiration and adoration. like my heart is overflowing and my soul is streaming out my nose holes.
i feel so distant from art though, like i spent 3 days around people so creative and trying to push this lil book of mine upon people, that i am too full of information to sort through it and try and translate it to ink and like and word.
you know? i want to badly to convey this feeling in my bones

i feel a lil like i want to bawl my eyes out, i feel so overwhelmed! not from sadness persay, more an overabundance of emotion

and gosh i can not say
in any descernable capacity
how much love ben sea (plump oyster) and mel stringer (girlie pains) have inspired in my heart
they took me under their wings and let me sit at their selling table
and fed me pizza and talked to me in funny voices
and saved me when i left my wallet somewhere with bus fare and warm smiles
and it makes me weep how sweet they are
i have never met old souls so soft and kind
and i am so proud of them and wish for so much happyness to come to them
because they make me so crazy effing happy

things worth mentioning
(and i write this with the idea that blogs are for the verbalisation and transition of memories into something that can be recalled later, even if the memory has faded)

-there was this stall for people who build their own r2d2 robots and stuff, and they were roaming throughout the place. confronted with the reality of a robot i was actually quite freaked out, id always thought id be pretty cool with them, having been influenced by scifi and such. at least they wernt sentient

-rock band was set up directly across us, which was good for viewing i guess. this one guy got up and he was very kurt cobaine esq, and he started making up his own lyrcis, ala "this is my life, behind the beehive". everytime i think about it i have to laugh, its just the most preposterous combination of words

- we saw the sillyest romance style mangas. the highlights were "flowers and bees" and "dont blame me" which had a picture of two effeminant dudes kissing on the cover

- a variety of rediculously cute little kids walking past. most notable was a lovely lil girl dressed as superwoman, she had the tinyest lil pig tails and the biggest brown doe eyes. also saw the most amazing poco rosso costume in existance (perhaps?)

- chewing hubba-bubba perpetually makes you feel like a renegade

- reading ben and mels comics on the bus home made me giggle so much

-i accidently told a girl it looked like james masters wanted to "fuck" her. i felt so rude immediatly after, who says stuff like that to strangers? to contextualise it was a comment about the photo she had got taken with him in which he was standing quite close and doing his (what i consider to be) well known fuck face.

- for some reason all the boys there smelt like tomato sauce.

- sewing felt heart badges for a slew of girls. i really enjoyed it if im being honest though towards the end i felt so anxious. people seemed to really appreciate the home made quality of them though, which made me feel so swell. one boy got what i assumed was usernames of him and his girlfriend (?) like, tom for alice, i thought it was the cutest thing in the whole fucking world. other requests and ones premade and sold - tony stark, dr. sheldon cooper, batman, miyazaki, wolverine, i <3 effy, i <3 pokemon, hit-girl, 4zzz,and i really cannot remember the rest AT ALL.

- while having a smokey stick mel and i overheard a group of three boys having a discussion in which the question was "if you could kiss any girl in the world who would it be?" which i thought was the cutest thing ever. the fact that they were discussing who to kiss as apposed to the more traditional who to have sex with. we didnt hear their answers but i would have been interested to have done so.

- talking to various artists! so fucking nice, everyone was so kind to one another and there was a really lovely spirit of comradery umongst the table holders i think. he stallholders perhaps not so much as the mostly worked for people selling books and such and wernt trying to sell things they had created themselves, but everyone was pretty kind to one another as a whole. it was so fascinating to see how other people approached the comic book making process (not that i do comics per say myself), there were so many different styles and methods, it was fascinating and inspiring! one group (two lovely ladies opperating under the name burgerforce) took photographs for each frame and then edited the photos in illustrator to make them stencil-esq. absolutly amazing.

-got to have a real life nerd chat with a nice fellow sitting at the comicboy studios table. its so rare i get to talk about comics with someone who isnt my friend jordaan (who is truly an amazing dude for such things in all fairness to him) it was secretly a hope of mine at the beginning of supernova that such a spirited conversation would occur. patrick and his lovely lady laura got caught in the crossfire unfortunatly, and even now to think of them standing there and listening to me spew forth "i like it in issue 35 of batman when robin does"* makes me cringe in my ribcage and so so embarissed.

- i realised also how much i talk about my good friend gel to other people. ive come to refer to her as my heterosexual life partner in my head which is fucking appropriate if all is taken into consideration. i feel like i didnt stop talking about her all weekend, which isnt a bad thing because she also fills my heart with happyness. she unfortunatly missed out on the occasion due to study, but she is truly my other half and partner in crime.

- patrick and laura visiting was so nice, to see a friendly face umongst the vieled and costumed crowd. laura bought so many zines and home made comics, it made me smile. also ghost world which is amazing. patrick purchased a pretty fucking amazing batman drawing which i hope to see on his wall at some point in the future.

- ben was obliging enough to paint a lil paper half face mask for me. there is a story that goes with this which basicly ends in i get too aware of my own face flesh sometimes, and having a tasty little viewshield will banish away those unnecissary demons

- meeting the nice and funny fellows from phatsville was delightful, and they were the most wonderful of table mates. i cant wait to start trying my pesky hands at this fandangled comic thing, i really hope i can one day submit something for the phatsville consideration. laying paverstones for the diy kids of the future.

so there i think thats that? fuck i am impressed
if anyone has come this far in terms of reading this monumental post.

in summation:

<3mammoi and pappoi<3

*dramatisation

2010-04-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

i mostly have been sleeping all day and reading web comics all night lately

its a good thing i fell out of flow with penny arcade or i would have nothing to pull me through these cold and dreary nights.

supanova this weekend! i am so nervouse grumbly sick in my stupid guts, it makes me sick all over again.
what if noone likes my stuff, hey?! then i will probably just crawl into the nearest toilet cubicle wail-crying and eating pages out of batman comics.

2010-04-06T07:32:00.001-07:00

i cant ever see myself enjoying a film in which the premise is this guy being unattractive.
maybe its just me getting distracted by my peripherals in the sense that hes standing before a veritable wall of comic books but, im not sure. this whole, geek to glory thing is wierding me out lately

2010-03-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

i have not been uploading much art late
for that i apologise.
i have bean finding faces hard of late, and everything that pours from these fingertips feels so stagnant!

but time to try again maybe.

2010-03-24T04:29:00.000-07:00

i watched the brothers bloom yesterday. gosh what an amazing film
so enviable in its super sleuth ways and quiet trickery!
i wonder if con men and women really do exist in such a capacity in real life
if they are eternaly crowned by bowler hats and always wearing the most amazing of vests.

i should hope so. there is not enough of such things perhaps. or at least that they are far and few between.

the kind mel stringer and ben sea have offered this sea orphan a chance to sit along them during this years supernova at brisbane. i am oh so excited both to sell things and the convention and to sit along side my lovely friends. my cup doeth runneth over <3

i have been making so felt heart badgies, so far i have only made a batman one bfor selling, but i plan to make a fair few more n.n. more on that later but!

2010-03-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel so inspired
it makes me sad
to think that there is so much amazing stuff
like how can we compare
our efforts to others

when it is all perception!
and sometimes the message can be mis-percieved.
and we have no way of controlling such things
but it is so important to at least try

i just watched where the wild things are, i think it was a bit sad in the end. i didnt like most of it until max was leaving the island

i think it was so brave of spike lee to try to create something
that many people are very stubborn about. most people who have read the book will always have their own idea of how it should have gone
but i think he tried very hard.
and did as well as any of us could have.
especially considering the limited dialogue potential
and how half the book is just the wild things dancing through the forest.

people dont think about things like that i guess
when they are quick to criticise someone elses interpretation
or vision

2010-03-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

http://rumplo.com/tees/tee/13477-ames-bros-leprechaun-

DO WANT

always sunny in my heart

2010-03-07T16:22:00.000-08:00

oh man
i am being so obsessed with always sunny in philadelphia lately. sometimes i think things are to brilliant for my comprehension and i am left in this sort of limbo like state of total mindblank adoration, never quite capable of making that leap to full acceptance that people have the capacity to make things that i love.
i also find myself falling more in love with charlie everyday even though he eats lotsa cat food and sometimes pees himself. i have been assured this is not the development of some sort of terrible cat food and pee fettish, he is just irresistable in some ways. especially back in the day (like season one and two) when he was just dislexic and not completly retarded and when he still wore nice wollen jumpers.

those of you who know me well will remember that the key to my heart lies well and turly within the sweater and cardigan draw of a boys closet.

and how amazing are these photos HUH
special thanks to patrick for showing me such things.

...and for buying me a wolverine slinky recently.

2010-02-17T04:43:00.000-08:00

an art update!!

this is some stuff
i have been creating at tafe. with printmaking i am concentrating on windows
which ive always thouht were capable of having the nicest lines and aesthetics

the bottom picture is a stencil i did of tim and eric, because they are the only thing i could think of
that was worthy of being spray painted on brick and building

"you remind me of home"

2010-02-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

thoughts provoked by the recent valentines day. such an odd occurance perhaps
i cannot help but love such silly (and possibly trite) pop music sensabilaties. sometimes it is just too understandable to wet your whistle with something that is picture perfect and cutely lulling.
the whole concept of clishe'
make me so sad and disenchanted sometimes. like the fact that it is percieved this ways somehow discounts the possability of something BEING this way, you know?

perhaps sometimes
it is just easy to hope that nice things happen
free of our constraints.

2010-02-11T04:41:00.001-08:00

this is clearly the best valentines day e-card of all time.

i promise to update with things that are valid or in some way interesting soon! i have so much to share

2010-01-31T06:01:00.000-08:00

so sentimental
not sentimental, no

i adore skins so much.
i find people who dont adore it
are either people who do not drink or smoke or any of that
but it captures something so organic and amazing and enviable i think

i used to wear an "emily" bracelette around my wrist to remind me to try and be lovely like her

2010-01-30T04:43:00.000-08:00

bitter in waking, too attatched to the intangible and vivid memories of dreams! recalling fleeting moments of realisation, only to be ignored and passed between the pages of subconcious this and that
i thnk i have realised that there is only ordinary
and i am bowing out of the race for anothers heart
because we are never happy, even when we get the things we want
and i am sick of being heart sick
and full of wit and worry

i am going into hybernation
and i dont expect to ever want to leave the house again
which may be problematic
since i can nevr have company over

we will never fufil those plans we made i guess

and noone ever takes the time
to take the effort
to show those who are so distant
how they care
or how TO care

2010-01-28T03:04:00.000-08:00

a small photo update. sometimes if fell that lensy sort of heart beat in me, but not always.

i have been thinking on the biblical sort of side of fiction lately. not in a very religious way, more like an outside observer perhaps. but there is some very lovely art to do with those sorts of old tails

2010-01-27T04:27:00.000-08:00

to do list:
watch new skins tommorow night
wear more cardigans and get bigger glasses
have a crafternoon to make felt lil badgies. monogramed hearts
buy http://www.zazzle.com/bad_angels_gustave_dore_tshirt-235789090996229854

2010-01-26T06:31:00.000-08:00

i am stuck in this house
i am sitting upon
and i have all these thoughts
that feel so misplaced in a nest not my own
and perhaps it is wrong to feel like you must contextualise such things
to be in a space to worn and well known
but i miss my walls and familiar posts and poles.
and these things do not feel the same.

my deer friend sammy gave me a sweet singing lullaby cd from lil scout
which is the band of a girl i used to know so well,
laura k,
and it seems like such a strange happenstance to be given such a thing by someone whom i adore so much now
about a friend whom i used to adore so much then
the space between us seems so far
and i feel like there is too much distance
between whom i used to be
and whom is wearing this skin and bones now

you are the kind
whom i adore

2010-01-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

i wish there were more conveniently placed
sweet and sultry hollows
within one might enjoy a few shots

--

its very unfair that being eloquent with words is smething that requires practise
why cant i just be lazy like all things
and remian eternally graceful

2010-01-06T05:00:00.001-08:00

these are some of my most favourite editorial style photographs. my friend pat has achievable ambitions of taking photos like this one day, which i think about often because it will undoubtedly and most regretably take him places much further away then this one.

i have bean quite absent of late. sleeping under covers even though the night is hot and unforgiving! working for things i probably dont need. lusting after things that are undeserving and unlikely.

2009 in review

2009-12-25T02:38:00.001-08:00

i know it is not quite new years yet, but i think perhaps i am more inclinated for such things at the moment then i will be later. thus the usual year-gone-by-meme. oh how i have missed you pointless questions.

1. Was 2009 a good year for you? Why?
in ways yes. i learned a bit more perhaps, made some lovely new friends and started persuing some study which is good always.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
quiet moments. spending time with people who are not a bore or efortsome. things like just sitting and speaking, having coffees with gel in the morning before tafe.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
an instance of forcefulness, inapropriate behaviour, like things better left forgoten

4. Where were you when 2009 began?
playing guitar hero at home by myself. yeah.

5. Who were you with?
me and my xbox

6. Where will you be when 2009 ends?
at a friends house party, tipsy eyed and mystified. perhaps

7. Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
friends that are not from school. a distinct distincition between the two groups. peolpe i have met out and about, have used my charms upon and whom have charmed me in turn

8. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions of 2009?
i think it was to be braver, and i was indeed a slight bit braver this year. i am still lil cowardly, but things like that can be hard, no? at least conscience doesnt make a coward of me,thats for sure

9. Do you have New Year's Resolution(s) for 2010?
take more photographs, paint more paintings. goto the art gallery and be inspired! dont sit at home all day watching dvds, perhaps get better sleeping patterns.

pet a kitten.

10. Did you fall in love in 2009?
i am a silly fickle sort of lady. i think i fall in love far to much for common sense. i felt strong emotions for a few

11. If yes, with who?
a fox

12. If yes, do they know?
deep down, i think so

13. Are you still in love with them?
to an extent?

14. You regret it?
i regret most emotions of the sort. being happy with oneself is so much easier and safer

15. Did you break up with anyone in 2009?
no

16. Did you make any new friends in 2009?
yes! i tried really hard with some friends of friends, the sort of people who are sweet and always bright.

17. Who are your favorite new friends?
some friends from tafe, pat, sammy

18. What was your favorite month of 2009?
i have no concept of time, and its relation to space

19. Did you travel outside of your country of residence in 2009?
i never have done so, i have high hopes however

20. How many different states / provinces did you travel to in 2009?
none?

21. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
in a way. noone who wasnt worth loosing.

23. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009?
star trek, zombieland, i love you man

24. What was your favorite song from 2009?
yeah yeah yeahs - hysteric
kate walsh - your song
phoenix - 1901

25. What was your favorite record from 2009?
its blitz!, brand new eyes

26. How many concerts did you see in 2009?
oh man i dont even know. not that many

27. Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
neil young

28. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
less then the previous year

29. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
yes.

30. How many people did you sleep with in 2009?
.

31. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
a number of things. i have an acute sense of guilt, sometimes for things that re not even bad

33. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
i dont really recall. people who dont admit to lying when they have been caught out are a big hate of mine, but nothing of the sort comes to mind

34. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
yes. mostly through being too shy to leave the house and neglecting friends

35. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
yes.

36. How much money did you spend in 2009?
i have no idea, how edsactly am i expected to calculate that?

37. What was your proudest moment of 2009?
seeing my art in frankie, by the kindness of my lovely friend mel stringer.

38. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
sharing thoughts that should not be shared. sometimes my brain to mouth filter is non-existant, and it sadens me to shock others

39. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
probably go back in time and not become friends with one or two people, to avoid all that came after

40. What are your plans for 2010?
continue tafe, start building port folios, improve my hug technique

christmas

2009-12-24T05:18:00.000-08:00

i dont really enjoy cristmas. i find it to be a supreme anti-climax, more expectation then anything. and as a rule i find expectations to be mostly dissapointing. having said that i got myself the following and i feel like the day might not be so dissapointing, cause hey, at least i know what im like.

2009-12-22T21:28:00.000-08:00

2009-12-20T05:18:00.000-08:00

something about girls with bright orange red hair fascinates me!

i have not posted for a while, i hope it has not bean lamentable or even noticable for those who read these words.
i have been staying in as per usual, learning slowly, drawing rarely.

christmas is such an ordinary thing.

2009-12-14T02:35:00.000-08:00

an old gig photo
i miss going to gigs
and trying so hard at taking photos
it is mostly very diffifult

if mymemory is corr3ect this is shiver like timbers
at the gig where she supported patrick wolf
she is very lovely

2009-12-13T05:09:00.000-08:00

is it so selfish to think perhaps
you are capable of making someone more happy
then the person their thoughts are already preoccupied with?
perhaps it is concieted

i wish i was not so callow and cowardly.
more capable of honesty
of taking that hart by the horns
andwhipering so soft and sweet
how i adore him so
and how i hope for nothing more then his infinit happyness

some people are just too brilliant
the kind to make a girl sigh and sorrow
to make her wish to strongly
that things might perhaps be different

i just cant see why
someone would abandon another
to hold a hand so wet and wilted as mine

2009-12-12T06:40:00.000-08:00

i have decided
i am no longer going to write letters
to those who do not care enough
to reply.

i always say it
and i never do it

2009-12-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

i adore this photo
i am quite upset at bloggers tendency to pixilate my life. perhaps i will find a way to fix it.

i should not write any more words
least my flower organs over flow
with dusted sticky sap and sallow leaf and petal

2009-12-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

“You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!”

2009-12-09T03:39:00.001-08:00

i found these on some top 25 type website
new style covers for a bunch of movies
these 3 were my favourites

i want to be able to create art like this
so amazing structually!

music post - owl city

2009-12-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

i have bean listening to owl city alot!

fireflies

written from insomnia apparently
and i have felt that ache in my bones aswell

im sorry,
i would have liked to have linked to the whole album
but i am having trouble today

PUNCH

2009-12-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

finally making art again
reaching deep on down, pulling back these bones and bloods and bringing up something soft and sticky sweet.
the forest!
oh
how i have missed you

more specifficly, this is a band poster done upon the request of a good friend
the actual bands playing and very brutal, it is worth mentioning
and nowhere near as pansy as my weak willed art would imply.

2009-12-04T06:11:00.000-08:00

2009-12-03T05:42:00.000-08:00

when it rains
we shut the windows tight
and sit so soft and silently

2009-11-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

i am sorry if there is anyone out there reading this
who wishes to view things
that are sythesised from my brain pan
art wise.

i have bean very uninspired lately
or perhaps just lazy.
i find evrything so amazing sometimes that i feel like
there is no need for me to be amazing
when there are others out there already doing it
you know?

i will probably just be doing alot of picture posts
because i am really enjoying the internet lately.

and i am finally learning
that i am a tree and i "got a saw to cut off those dead limbs"

letting people go.

2009-11-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

these are things i find posativly amazing

omlette du fromage

2009-11-25T22:32:00.000-08:00

OMLET DU FROMAGE!!!

you know how when your a kid for some reason or other
particular memories just stick with you
the eipsode of dexters labritory where he accidently falls asleep listening to a 'learn to speak french' tape and it gets caught on the phrase "omlette du fromage"
and then the next day thats all he can say

is one of those memories for me.

to this day it is still one of the few french phrases i know
and the most french phrase i ever spoke in french class

lomo self

2009-11-25T02:16:00.000-08:00

lomohomo
i try not to indulge in the whole self obsessed culture and masturbation
that i think is inextricably intertwined with the whole myspace facebook photo thing.
but i felt desperatly like taking some photos this evening
and my world is so cramped at the moment
i feel like all that is in these bits and bones
is the only thing i can muster right now.

i quite like the first shot. eating fire spitting flames!

firefly

2009-11-22T21:48:00.000-08:00

Kaylee: Everyones got somebody. Wash, tell me im pretty
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion
Kaylee: 'cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause you're pretty.

i love firefly so much. it is one of the few shows i can watch again and again and again. sometimes my brain gets all explody forom how perfectly constructed a film serenity is also.

i promise to post something other then screencaps from shows soon.

fan boys

2009-11-21T03:15:00.000-08:00

i have never really encountered the fabled 'fan boy'. many a fan girl yes, but never a fanboy. i just dont really think dudes get obsessed about things as us ladies do sometimes. also it is possible
i am just not running in the right circles.

kevin smith is a totally rad dude.

time machine

2009-11-20T03:24:00.000-08:00

"oh no!!! not fleshing eating morlocks!!!"

letting things go

2009-11-20T01:59:00.000-08:00

my dog ruby died a couple of weeks ago
i think it bothered me more then i thought it would
animals are so much more lovely then people i find
so sincere and full of love!
i do not think i believe in heaven
but i think perhaps i would like to, so i may sleep knowing she is somewhere special

do i have something in my teeth?

2009-11-20T00:40:00.001-08:00

this man is just far too brilliant.
i want nothing more
then to curl up with some green tea
and watch ace ventura
again and again.

2009-11-18T06:22:00.000-08:00

pictures like this
make me so unhappy.

bright eyes

2009-11-17T03:33:00.000-08:00

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

i used to listen to this abum everyday on the bus to and from school. Lua (one of the tracks) is probably one of the lovelyest songs ive ever heard. conor oberst has
such a way with words

some lyrics:

I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight...

self portraits

2009-11-16T03:59:00.003-08:00

and old self portrait i took. amazing to think how much effort i put into things back then. with a shitty digital camera. i was so into the colour that red lamp made, i could spend hours taking photos with that thing.
i think peoples sense of what is a good self portrait can really tell alot about taht person. excluding the obvious.

i feel like everything and nothing has changed!

to think about the circumstances that surrounded my taking of this picture. my first experience, of being in love or lust with more then one person. i am so glad
i have grown up.

わたしは、あなたを愛しています

2009-11-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

私はあなたに値しないことを知ってより良いそれからわたしを
しかし、私はまだ傾けるヘルプを絶賛していたあなた
彼女〜するべきであるを伝える
あなたはパーフェクト
日常

never mind.

above picture by helani laisk, sleepyfeet on deviantart

manchester orchestra

2009-11-14T21:33:00.000-08:00

manchester orchestra are such an amazing band. i wanted to share this album with you. its called "Like A Virgin Loosing A Child". the above isnt the album cover, but tbh i dont really like the album cover and i wanted some sort of visual inscentive! so i just waked the above photo (not mine) into the olde photoshop and did some quick textures. below is the link to the album.

if you trust that i wouldnt recomend something that is not good, please download!

cause i confide in wolves at night

Manchester Orchestra - Like a Virgin Loosing a Child

2009-11-12T03:37:00.000-08:00

thoughts like broken cycles and reused mouth drips.
making cowards out of myself, and being wishfully wanton for the impossible and intangible.
like maybe this is a false sense of sensibillity, and i should just do all the things i am too selfish to ever care about.
maybe there is no bravery in sincerity.
i am so sick of these skin and bones
so fat on blood and muddy organs. and yet we raise this handfuls to bruised lips and open mouth again and again and again.
there is at least a sort of sensibleness in consistancy
even if it is poured from glass or spat to spare the rest of us the trouble
!!!
get gaunt.
be callow.

2009-11-10T23:54:00.000-08:00

i love you emotional breakdowns

here -- go again

2009-11-10T03:39:00.000-08:00

this is my last week
of bothersome things
nothing but wishful thinking and willful sleeping from then on out
but like usual
i am having trouble being motivated!
perhaps i will make more art or do something constructive.

and i have been thinking on folk alot
on their influence and affluence
on the way i percieve you
and the way i should percieve you.

if everyone would just send me a small note
on how they would like to be treated
i shall oblige accordingly.
sometimes i feel like i only hear the things people dont say
never the words they do
!!!

2009-11-09T04:25:00.000-08:00

do things like this ever actually happen in real life?
romance outside of fiction
does not exist.

dear allisandro

2009-11-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

i made this lil bookie for a friend
whom lives so far away

its bean too long since i have posted some art!

if anyone is interested, i have a bunch of hand colour copies of this for sale.

in other news, why do so many people
fall prey
to those girls who are so fucking horrible.
just because honey may sometimes drip from her lips
does not exscuse the poison she spits

Fashion Photography

2009-11-04T00:52:00.001-08:00

okay.
so perhaps it is my tendency to develope male friendships more often then female ones, but sometimes i get very embarissed about liking extremly girly things like gossip girl. when i think on the topic more of corse i realise it is a silly thing to be embarissed about, so in honour of that notion i bring you a number of fashion photoshoots staring gossip girl actors.

i find fashion photography so intreguing sometimes! terribly concieted in some ways, but beautiful in others. i think it is perhaps feeble because it relys on the pre-existing beauty of the subjects, and very rarely brings out something in the subject that was not already planely visible. i of corse find other types of photography much more compelling, but much in the same way i can not help but adore gossip girl, i also adore fashion photography. its also worth mentioning that i find the whole perpetuity of materialism and superficiality completly repulsive in certain ways. like everything, i think without sincerity fashion photography can perhaps do more harm then good, but i do not dare pressume to push these opinions down your throat, no no no.

Ed Westwick and Leighton Meister for singapore Elle

i know its their job to look like theyre attracted to each other and all (as they are dating in gossip girl), but i actually adore the chemistry in these photos. such an amazing set

Taylor Momsen

something deep inside of me tells me i shouldnt like taylor momsen, but i just think she is so gosh darn pretty. even if she does seem like an extremly self obsessed person

in other news, i have alot of assesment this week
and my dog is getting put down tommorow
i wish you would come to my door
and give me a hug
i miss you.

star trek i love you

2009-10-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

the star trek remake finally came out on dvd! wholy cripes, i have so much love for this film. i just wanna sleep in my bed and watch this film on repeat for the rest of my life.

i had a dream i enlisted in star fleet last night. it was freakin awesome. i hope this geeky confession does not come as a suprise to you.

2009-10-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

fucking hell.
i am sick of this mentality
that it is a bother to be someones friend, or answer a call or talk. when did everyone started to feel so burdened by everything.
id always thought you should at least be kind to the people you supposedly DO like.
i am sick of feeling
like everyone is letting their anger at themselves and everything simmer deep down
then letting it all out at me
you are not making me cry the way you might want to
you are just boring me with your meladramatics and childish ways.
grow up
adults
and start taking responsability for your own horrible lives
that you have built from years of bad decisions.
you treat yourself like crap
so why shouldnt i.

i am not the problem child, you are the problem parent adult friend. i know edsactly how my insides work
so stop trying to twist my guts around, ohkaye?

2009-10-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

have you seen the painted veil? it is the most beautiful of films. it is about cholera and love and such, but golly is it lovely. and also sad maybe. i have such a huge crush on edward norton, he is incapable of doing wrong in my eyes.

betty drapper from mad men is in some respects my hero. the above is one of the most fucking brilliant things i have ever seen, i am so obsessed with the whole concept. i get in trouble sometimes for shootin mah mouth off about how awesome being a housewife would be, i dont think ladies want to hear it in this day and age. but there is something at least interesting about the whole idea of being looked after, you know? i know they were times not our own and in someways its not applicable, but its still something to think about.

2009-10-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

silk spectre portrait by james jean

inspired

2009-10-27T15:24:00.000-07:00

Photos like these make me feel like i dont know how to live.

taken from www.jamesmcloughlin1.blogspot.com

holga

2009-10-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

i am not a very good photgrapher i have come to realise. copositionally i think i do okay, but i am not very good on the technical side of things. perhaps i should ask one of the lovely gentlemen i know who are into such things
to take me nder his wing and teach me more

please please please

james jean

2009-10-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

lazy days! i was going to do my assignment today
but then i fell alseep and had the most loveliest of afternoon naps.
so now i am doing it. sort of.
in between thoughts and wanton glances at this stormy summer sky.

i hope you recieved my letter today patrick.

-by James Jean. my favouritest artist of all time ever. perhaps you recognise his art from the covers of the comic book series fables? if you are thus inclined, in a way of comic book geekyness. like i am.
sometime i find it very dis-spiriting that there are people out there who are so talented
much more talented then i will ever be!
but then i remember such thoughts are useless and it is better to think of such things fondly instead.

in other news i think i would like to go to japan mid next year. i have started looking at places on couch surfers, ive already found some nice people who look like they might let me stay. would anyone like to come with?
there will be so many amazing
photo opertunities

i love webcomics

2009-10-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

i really like webcomics. i think as fair as creative mediums go, they are pretty tops.
so i thought i would share some of my favourites.
there is nothing better then discovering a newwebcomic you have never read before, and seeing that big fat juicy archive list you know you have all the time in the world to catch up on <3

White Ninja
http://www.whiteninja.com

white ninja usually never makes sense, and is sometimes wierd and creepy but always funny. i dont know how it manages to come to a conculison ever, everything about it is so amazingly illogical

Overcompensating
http://www.overcompensating.com
oh man. as an akward person i have to say the thought of having to sing karaoke sober horrorfies me. i remember me and my pall caillan once spent a whole evenin thinking of awesome things to make akward people do. i cant remember most of them now, but i do recall that "asking strangers for bus fair" and "talking to children" were on the list. man im cringing already. being akward is HARD.

cat and girl
http://www.catandgirl.com
cat and girl is awesome and sometimes sad and mostly doesnt make sense and usually has some sort of social comment not so secretly lodged in there. by girl is cool, and sometimes i kind of wish i was here a lil bit.

Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com
we had this wierd point in highschool where me and all my other geeban friends would sit around and talk about different perry bible fellowship comics and laugh our asses off. being able to find something humerous in reflection aswell as whilst reading it is pretty great i think.

Qwantz (Dino Comics)
http://www.qwantz.com
i take it as a sign of a lack of character depth if someone tells me they dont like dino comics. okay, so every comic is edsactly the same art wise... who cares. they range of hilarity that is coveyed using those three lil dinosaurs is mind boggling at times.

border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396143290896886514" />

Multiplex
http://www.multiplesxcomic.com
i only started reading this one a lil while ago. its quite plot driven and has some questionable inclusion of religious discussions, but its good if youre super into films. i really must admit i only started reading it cause i happen to work in a movie theatre, just like this is set in. i know right, its basicly like someone made a webcomic about my life. except not.

A Lesson Is Learned But The Damage Is Irreversible
http://www.alessonlearned.com
this is my favourite i think. every comic is always so profound in one way or another, which in itself is an admiral feat. but combine that with the brilliance that is the art (both in structure and technique) and you have me having a big ol' geek crush on these here pretty pictures.

HARK! a vagrant
http://www.harkavagrant.com
one of my friends once told me he thought me and kate beaton were the same person, it is perhaps one of the most flattering things anyone has ever said to me. she is one of the few webcomic artists who makes me want to learn more about things, in this case, history. i just am happy someone this witty is alive and making pretty pictures for me to look at

Married To The Sea
http://www.marriedtothesea.com
sometimes when i am on public transport i will think of this comic and giggle to myself. theyre mostly a cut and paste affair with old etchings and stuff, but i still like this comic very much.

Some other webcomics i read are as follows! they are a bit more plot driven though, and its a bit difficult to give you guys a sample without it not making sense. also this blog is taking forever and i am feeling pretty lame.

http://www.scarygoround.com ----> this is probably the most recomendable one out of the bunch. the art just gets better and better, and every character is amazingly well developed and completly adorable.

http://www.questionablecontent.net ----> most people i know read QC. its about these indie pants kids who work in a coffee shop and have pet robots and talk about morrissey and shit like that
(im sorry for the lack of hyperlinks, but my blogger html is being a total love hole)

exciting news

2009-10-22T03:17:00.000-07:00

i know youre going to pixilate my pictures blogger, and i am quite displeased with you about it

for my tafe assignment on talismans. i have been wearing this necklace for so long now, and every bit of it is so organic and natural to me. the thimble bell was given to me by my dear friend helani, the key was bought from an antique store in bangalow, the bird from a market in sydney, twine from a package from helani and the actual string it all hangs on i stole from drama class in year eleven (i fell in love with its girth)
we have to connect our talisman with a place, and i thought i would concentrate on my bedroom and the sense of self that is created by meerly occupying a plce for a long period of time. personally i spend a BUTT load of time in my room, so i try as hard as i can to make it a place where i can grow and stretch. i am always so intregued to see someones bedroom for the first time, i truly think such things can tell you alot about a person.

my very deer old friend Mel Stringer is a bit of a frankie love boat, doing alot of illustrations for the lovely magazine. in this months they have a section about various artists "inspiration walls" which melly was included in, and she has some of my art on her wall! she mentions me and my friend gel by name and everything (gel is pop-loser). i am just so full of love and happyness, especially since my walls are covered in mels art. she truly inspires me!

i love living in this day and age

2009-10-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

things that inspire me <3

attempt at portraiture

2009-10-20T02:25:00.000-07:00

these are some
portraits i took of my friend gel. i know they are not very traditional compositionally (at least in terms of portrait) but i think that they represent her well.

inspired by post by my dear friend patrick, who always makes me think more then i would were my thoughts left to their own devices.

for some reason blogger is making all my pictures pixilated.

...and another, because she is my friend
and she doesnt get cross at me
when i am unintentionally callous
or when i am too within my own thoughts to leave the house

something creative for a nice change

2009-10-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

(sorry for the blurry scan. smudges at the top say:
"That's it." Bob said. "Deduction is simple when you put your mind to it."
listened with great interest
mismatched eyes
was taking no chances)

an olde book, from a second hand store.
i did not even know
alfred hitchcock wrote books.

this is something i tried. writting letters, and wanting something a lil extra to send, you know? cutting phrases from a book, then making poems from said phrases. it was kinda tricky but really fun. perhaps there is a dadaist in here deep down somewhere

ive always found something about old books to be undeniably enchanting. like fragments of days gone by, full of words we could never hope to relate to now. the expression of things that once sounded so true, aged to something stale and stagnant. the same place we are all heading.
whimsical in a way perhaps.

my friend helani whom lives in canberra has a passion for old books and their covers. she is very skilled at crafting new pages for old covers, stitching and cutting and sewing until something old is something new again, full of potential, limitless. blank pages wrapped in hard cover skeletons

my friend gel whom lives in brisbane has a passion for old books and their phrases. the kind of phrases that make no sense in this day and age, but are completly charming when removed from their context. i remember being scandalised the first time i saw her cut something out of an old nancy drew book, and i am so thankful for this new perspective she has taught me. for making me think a way i never have before

2009-10-18T01:15:00.001-07:00

i feel like i am forgetting more and more how to effectivlly communicate. writting letters that are too heart felt to be sent, aiming things out into the world and hoping that the person who they are meant for will read them and realise he is the one i am refering to.
i wish i was braver, capable of verbalising these things as more then whispered words and barbs that pierce and stick and stay.

and i know things will never change and i will wake up the same tommorow and the next day and on and on

and i cant even hope that what i want is deserved or realistic at all

WAKE UP! I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG, WAITING FOR YOU to see

2009-10-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

eep eep eep.
so much is happening
always
everything is always going.
?esaelp ?dnah ym dloh ot tnaw uoy od

... i do know how to love you

things i have been thinking about

2009-10-11T23:35:00.001-07:00

paperslip
toasted toes
bitten lip
telling the truth

things i have been thinking about

2009-10-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

paperslip
toasted toes
bitten lip
telling the truth

i love you the decemberists

2009-10-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Where has she gone?
Well, I bet she's on the bottom of the Frenchtown Pond
Rudely abused on some hescher's joyride
So I wrote you this song
In the hopes that you'd forgive me
Even though it was wrong
Being so careless with a thing so great
And taking your poor Madeleine away, away

hehehe

fish eye

2009-10-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

bit our tongues
sucked our lips into our lungs

polaroid

2009-10-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

some badge art for a friends band, the gentlemen.
inky palms

i have bean thinking alot lately about the artist gonzo and hunter s. thompson. this is a polaroid a nice boy took of me and ash, kinda gonzoes just a lil.

ms paint sucks.

bones

2009-10-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

something about her eyes
makes me wanna fall inside

book giftle

2009-10-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

i made this here book giftle for an overseas friend. i am sill too broke tosend it atm, but i wanted to share it with the internet none the less.

--> shown here in reverse order of how it actually is u_u

noone is as lucky as us

2009-10-02T04:03:00.000-07:00

deer fox
i have been listening to a new album
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R1155XY9

(please click on the above link to download)

desperatly soppy and cliched, but who ever said my naievity had to be a bad thing?

i bought red silk slippers today.

perhaps ignorance is my new best friend

2009-09-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

oh man
some words from a friend this evening
advice on the possability of an encounter with another
advice that i should regret it if this encounter should hurt the other of this another
you know?

all i do is work and be tired and wish i was asleep
where are my forest friends?

home from the beach

2009-09-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

my friends and i went over to straddie, for the last visit to a house that has held us safe many a time
during poison sip and smokey suck!
i found myself seeking quiet more then i should have, wishing for private thoughts, feeling like i was not being a part of things enough!
there is only so much time
you can spend indoors happily before you must be sent outside
unfortynatly

i hate it when people presume to touch your camera
act indiginit when you say they may not
take horrible photos
and then complain when you want it back.
not specific to these photos, just a general though of something that i find irritating.

i am tired of finding the perfect fellow
perfectly preoccupied
by another.

The Gentlemen EP cover

2009-09-22T01:44:00.000-07:00

i have these lovely girly friends whom have a band called "The Gentlemen" (ironic considering its a girl band!)

they kindly asked me to do something for an ep cover for them. i dont know if its what they wanted, but i think sometimes it is better to just do the art you do instead of trying too hard to think of what people want you to do, you know?

they are some swell kids, and certainly not the type to get into unnecissary fisty cuffs like these bettys.

your bones, so white

2009-09-21T05:39:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think berrys look loathing and murderous! vicious and delicious! the sweetest of drippings, red like bitten blood and skin stained pink and wet.

silver deer, the sweetest of gifts from my friend ali. i almost wept a lil, i have never bean given something so perfect before. so suited to the forest in my heart!
porcelin fox, paws crossed so perfectly. so small, i can not resist his painted eyes. a true testiment to the irresistability of the fox.
gold locket, the one i thought id lost. so close to these ventricles, so adored and wanted! i was so sad when i thought it was gone, so relieved to see it again.

Im jaded, i hate it

2009-09-21T03:34:00.000-07:00

"talking to the person you havent even met yet. and maybe theyre rolling around in the hay with somebody else but they're nt as good as you'll be. you just gotta wait your turn. shes out there, hes out there, theyre just learning what to contrast you against"

i think thats a pretty cute sentiment to hold in your heart!

i am missing my friends. i had a dream the other eve' that i went to a foreign city
with a friend of mine
and he kept on running away and i could not keep up!
i awoke so panicked and
upset.

i have been thinking alot about heroes lately. it is perhaps a problem.
or at least would be for one not quite as lazy and self indulgent as eye.

what i wore today

2009-09-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

this was so freakin hard!
i do not know why
i sometimes striggle with the simplest of drawing tasks

http://whatiworedrawings.blogspot.com/

UOYSSIMI

splitting spitting

2009-09-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

i am now on tafe holidays! i feel so uncertain about my future, about my own capacity to learn and grow, my own intelligence. i want to do phsycology, but everyone is telling me i am not clever enough and art is something i have always had at least an aptitude for. should i try the more difficult but potentially more fufilling corse or what? sheesh things are troublesome sometimes.

this is one of my favourite things ive arted in a really really long time. that red haired lil lovely is such a seductress, try and resist her jeans, t-shirts and converse combination if you think you can.

cant help myself

2009-09-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window, I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold

i feel a lil lost lately. like i am constantly wanting unnecissarily, misjudging those around me and forgetting how to bee. i guess it seems like i am always glum, but i do have so many amazing people in my life.
i just do not appreciate them
as much as they deserve.

i just need someone sugary sweet
to grab my by the paw and lead me through these woods.

callow fallow

2009-09-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

i love the blured textures that long exposure to fire creates!
i had the swellest evening
with two girls whom i adore
more then most.
but none are more deserving

all broken pause and over thought! thinking too heavily before touching fingertips to keyboard, pushing instinct and urge under the carpet and always being safe.
stupid, stupid girl!

this week i am going to try and channel my inner taylor, lilly, and kaya.

2009-09-08T03:59:00.000-07:00

things will be different, keep those blue eyes wide you bright young pretty thing!

things are in flux, these red sticky insides are tangled with sickness and thoughts dont always come from where you think they might.

i love your demeanour, your counternance!

feeling aimless and tired, tucked up in bed the way you should when you are tummy sick. there are more productive things to be doing wih my time but i just want to sleep and sleep and never wake up. snugg and safe in blanket, forest floor, downey fur and limb. only capable of comprehending this one moment, the flush of everything that happens when you get sick! damn this feeble body

brains to inconsistant for propper aplication, ambitions too shy and aware of failure before the task could ever really bee begun. there are too many possabilaties and chances to be snatched, i think ill just fall asleep instead.

2009-09-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

i feel like i am bursting with secret lil forest words, things i yearn to say to fellow dear deer alike, but unable to do so.
in the wise words of a friend
"we make things more complicated than they have to be"

i dont know no no no. getting far too easily attatched, charmed and intreguied uncontrolably! sometimes people are just too amazing and i cant help but get too attatched, to think upon to often. i think perhaps it is a blessing and a hinderence, annoying in that it is often a helpless sorta way to bee, but so nice to know people like that exist, you know?

even if these paths may no colide, nor may these antlers cross at all. huff!

i have bean listening to the jonas brothers alot lately. something about their incredibly naieve and innocent lyrics and pop sensablaties entices me, but rest assured my musical tastes reach higher then cheesy disney pop. it is fun in a silly way and i can not help but love it.

people who hold that sort of ting in disregard should be disregarded at any rate!

my poor puppy dog is dying. my heart is breaking and im trying so hard not to think about it.

huff puff
ffuh ffup

photo update: old patrick wolf gig photos

2009-09-05T02:41:00.000-07:00

clearing out my CF card
and i remember seeing this wolf cub perform at rosies last year some time
falling in love with his fur and feathers (literally) and feeling that sweet forest magic flow from his ukelele into my bones.

i quite enjoy gig photography, i find it very organinic in a way! sometimes lighting can be very tricky though, and this was deffinatly one of those times. i think these kinda communicate the intimacy of the gig however, it was such a small venue and patrick wolf was so tall, he filled the whole room

green with envy

2009-09-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

for seuth!
this is a lil lady
i pulled out of these ventricles.
i have bean feeling a lil sick with envy lately.
there will always be
girls who are prettyer and nicer and more talented
and i am getting used to these skin and bones
slowly

i love this gouache, ive never been so in love with colour before!

old photo update

2009-09-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

i have bean doing alot of art for study lately, and not so much for myself. so i thought i might take this quiet chance to share some of my old photos. i feel people dont really notice my photography in light of my art, like someone can only choose one of these things to try and be good at. i dont know, i feel like i invest just as much of myself in my photos as i do my drawings and paintings, so they must be relevant in some way, non?

these are quite old, back when the grass was green and clover riddled. i was just beginning to grow thee horns, and i took these as a series called "doe heart", like maybe inside these ventricles all twisted and tired are these objects. my first attempt at any thing even resembling marcro photography, and i never loose my fondness for them

gel and i like to experiment with lomography sometimes.

this was my friend charlies cat. her name was jane, and she was the most perfect kitty in the whole world. i dont usually like felines, but her temperment was devine, and i am sad she is gone

I love you pushing daisies

2009-08-21T20:16:00.002-07:00

i have bean re-watching pushing daisies lately. such a lovely show, althought it makes the heart and stomache ache for lovely baked fruit pies. It seems like Ned and Chuck are the perfect boy and perfect girl, i love their relationship so much, even if they can never touch.

ROAD CAT

2009-08-19T03:32:00.000-07:00

sometimes things get hit by cars, and sometimes these things are cats. and sometimes two girls driving by in a bright blue swift think "hm maybe that cat was someones cat" and goto get the cat to take it to a vet even though it is dead. and sometimes rigourortis has set in and the whole experience is very scary and horrorfying.

sometimes.

feeling forest flurrys

2009-08-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

"isabella lee" drawn as part of a conceptual series of gig posters. i dont know if she will end up gracing the pages of other pages, but for now i am feeling her in my heart and fighting hard to keep her safe and warm. lee is coincidentily my mothers maiden name, but there is no relation.

i feel like perhaps i have bean dipping my toes into the selfishness of self indulgence acts lately. partying too hard and starting too many fires, neglecting those whom are proven forest patriots and feeling quietly lustful for people whom are far too brilliant and clever for i. the kinds who speak their minds and speak with the elegance of considered thought. how dreamy.
like maybe it is time to be rid of loose threads, and gather strength for the coming winter and remember why there are people whom are both worthy of love, and giving it.

i feel you in my bones yes yes yes

throwing rocks at your window

2009-08-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

so stagnant stale bones, with flesh and skin so taught and horribly bunched!
feeling like my productive steak has come to a shuddering halt, and all i want to do is draw something i cna bee proud of and eat cereal for dinner for the rest of my life.
these deluded pre-concieved notions of general existance have been getting tangled in my hair and heart, strange to feel and think about!
and i will take scissors to tongue and lip and cheek and cut out all those thoughts that try to speak when they should be left alone. even though i know these things are fleeting by nature, and this too shall pass.